A terrible trip experience that I had was my graduation trip two years ago.
Before going to graduation trip, we had been hindered by many dignitaries from the Ministry of Education. They stipulated that we couldn’t go to any amusement park or we would stay in school until we graduated.
After the school striving for the chance of going to Janfusun World for graduation trip, the day that we decided to go was a bad day.
When we were in the hotel, some classmates fought with the people who they didn’t like, and they didn’t want to live with each other. Afterward, they decided to live in my room, so there were ten people in a quad. Then, I had a terrible sleep.
To my surprise, they made it up before I woke up! Because I didn’t sleep well the previous day, I didn’t enjoy myself at all! That’s too terrible!
住的話用live感覺有點怪
回覆刪除in quad 前面加個定冠詞
we had hindered by many the Ministry of Education dignitaries.
回覆刪除要用被動態
until we graduate 也要是過去式
they made it up before I woke up
這句話不懂
雖然整篇錯誤不多
但是有點平淡
I have a terrible trip experience when I was a third grader in junior high school. That was my graduation trip.要不要改一下這句子
回覆刪除改成A terrible trip experience that i have ever had was my graduation trip on third grades in junior high school.
we had hindered by =>被動
回覆刪除many the Ministry of Education dignitaries many 可以這樣用嗎?
改成many dignitaries in the Ministry of Education?
in quad這是什麼
If your point is that the incident which happened in the hotel made you upset, I dont think you should write things about the school's decision or something.
回覆刪除Try to write more details about what happened in the hotel.
It could be better :)