Immediately, I learned that she is a mental patient. So I guided her to go to see a doctor. To my shock, she gave me a slap! Finally, I reluctantly agreed to go with her and thinking about finding her family. Beyond expectation, she is rich, and she really has a daughter looked like me! But I also saw her funerary picture.
I made up my mind to help her to get out of haze. So I recognized her as my godmother and brought her to go to see a doctor.
In the end, she lived happily and was recovered to health.
to go her home"," because不用逗號
回覆刪除she really has a daughter "looked" like me
這裡應該原為who looked like me所以是looking
hope me 應該換個字
回覆刪除大致上都還不錯喔 :D
故事還不錯~~
回覆刪除精神病患可以當教母嗎= =?
回覆刪除thinking about finding her family think應該不能用ing and 連接go with her 和那句所以應該也要原形
回覆刪除go to see a doctor 感覺有點怪怪 應該see a doctor 就好了ㄅ 我覺得啦 xd
was recovered 應該不用was
she mistook that I was her daughter.
回覆刪除mistake可以直接這樣用ㄇ? 沒看過捏
she is a mental patient 要改was
I reluctantly agreed to go with her and thinking about finding her family
第二個動詞也要過去式
she is rich, and she really has a daughter looked like me! 要過去式
looked like me 怪怪的 可以用 similar to代替
寫的蠻感人的
故事其實真的還不錯
回覆刪除